Ready to lock down some serious excitement in your love life? Then chastity may just be the key (if you’ll pardon the pun!) With a history that goes back to cavemen locking their ladies up in mammoth bone panties (maybe), chastity has come a long way since then. Whether you’re curious about control or an abstinence absolutist, this beginner’s guide to chastity will reveal all the saucy secrets to a thrilling and fulfilling time in private prison. 


So buckle up or rather, lock up, as we dive into the world of chastity and discover how a little bit of restriction can lead to a whole lot of pleasure.

What is Chastity?

Chastity isn’t just about keeping things under lock and key; it’s about exploring power dynamics, building anticipation and experiencing heightened pleasure through denial. At its core, chastity involves wearing a device that prevents sexual activity, often controlled by a “keyholder”, a trusted partner who holds the key and with whom a chastity contract is agreed. This can be a deeply erotic experience, focusing on control, trust and the delicious torment of delayed gratification. Chastity devices and contracts come in various shapes and sizes but the goal remains the same: to keep things locked away until it’s time to play.

Choosing the Right Chastity Device

Before you can begin your sexual sentence, you first need to pick the right chastity device. As this is going to be a potentially permanent prison for your private parts, there is a lot to consider. But fear not, here is what you need to know about the main options available: 

Cock Cages

Cock cages are the most common type of male chastity device. They are made from materials like metal, silicone or hard plastic and come in different sizes to ensure a snug but comfortable fit. They usually come with a padlock and key and may also have special features like spiked screws and urethral or anal plugs for extra stimulation and control. Many have breathable vents and open tips for urination so they can be worn 24/7.

Chastity Belts

Chastity belts are devices which provide more extensive coverage and security. They provide an all-encompassing chastity and restraint experience and can be used by both men and women. Chastity belts also have secure locking systems and many models have plugs and other features for experimentation. 


When choosing a chastity device, comfort is crucial, especially if you are planning to wear your device long-term. Make sure to measure correctly and choose a material that feels good against your skin. It may take a few tries to find the perfect fit so don’t be discouraged if the first one isn’t quite right. Once you’ve found your ideal device, you’re ready to lock and load!

Getting Started: Communication and Consent

Before locking up, it’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Discuss your desires, boundaries and any concerns you might have. Chastity play involves a lot of trust so both parties need to feel comfortable and excited about the experience.


Set clear boundaries and establish a safe word or signal that can be used to stop the play immediately if needed. Discuss how long the chastity play will last and any rules or rituals that will be part of the experience. Many couples actually make a chastity contract which sets out all the guidelines, rewards and reprimands so that everyone knows exactly what is and isn’t allowed. 


It is also safest to have multiple keys in case one gets lost. This means that there won’t be any embarrassing trips to the hospital or locksmith if a key goes wandering.

Locking Up: How to Wear a Chastity Device

Now that you have chosen the perfect device and had a heart-to-heart with your partner, it’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty of locking up. Here’s a step-by-step guide to wearing a chastity device:

1. Preparation

Clean the device thoroughly and make sure you’re relaxed and comfortable. Applying a bit of lubricant can help ease the device on, especially if it’s your first time.

2. Fitting the Device

Carefully place the device on, ensuring it fits snugly but comfortably. For cock cages, slide the ring around the base of the penis and balls, then secure the cage over the penis. For belts and shields, follow the manufacturer’s instructions to ensure a secure fit.

3. Locking

Once the device is in place, it’s time to lock it up. Hand the key to your partner or if you’re playing solo, keep it in a safe place where you won’t be tempted to unlock prematurely.


4. Adjusting

Spend a bit of time adjusting the fit to make sure there’s no discomfort or pinching. You want the experience to be enjoyable, not painful.

Living in Lockdown: Tips for Effective Chastity Play

Wearing a chastity device can be an exciting but sometimes challenging experience. Here are some tips to make your time in chastity more comfortable and enjoyable:


  • Hygiene: Keeping clean is crucial. Regularly clean the device and the area around it to prevent any irritation or infection.

  • Comfort: If you experience any discomfort, take a break and readjust the device. It’s important to listen to your body and ensure that you’re comfortable.

  • Discretion: Depending on your lifestyle, you may need to keep your chastity play discreet. Most devices are designed to be worn under clothing without being noticeable so you can go about your daily activities without drawing attention.

  • Mindset: Embrace the mental aspect of chastity. Focus on the anticipation and the excitement of being locked up. The longer you stay in chastity, the more intense the eventual release will be.

  • Unlocking and Aftercare: When it’s finally time to unlock, do so slowly and carefully. The sensation of being freed from the device can be incredibly intense so take your time to enjoy it. Aftercare is an important part of any BDSM activity, helping both partners feel cared for and appreciated and this is especially true for chastity play. Massage the area, apply soothing lotion if needed and spend some time cuddling and reconnecting with your partner. 

  • Final Thoughts

    Chastity can be a thrilling and deeply satisfying addition to your sexual repertoire. By embracing the power dynamics, teasing and anticipation that chastity play offers, you can unlock a whole new level of excitement and intimacy. Remember, communication and consent are key to a successful experience so make sure you discuss every aspect of your chastity play with your partner. 


    With all that done, it’s time to grab that lock, hand over the key and get ready to dive into the world of chastity. Have fun!

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