Curious about adding a bit of playful punishment to your bedroom fun? Spanking can be a cheeky way to explore power dynamics, trust and arousal with your partner. When done properly, spanking can enhance your connection, spice up plain Jane vanilla sex and bring a little sting to your naughty thing. If you are new to spanking and need a hand getting started (pun very much intended), you have come to the right place. This guide will take you through the ins and outs of spanking, ensuring it’s done safely and enjoyably for both parties. 

Ready to smack some fun into your sex life? Let’s get started!

The Appeal of Spanking

Spanking isn't just about a playful slap on the bottom; it is a tantalising blend of physical sensation and psychological thrill. Psychologically, many people enjoy spanking because it mixes control, submission and trust, creating a heightened sense of intimacy. Spanking can be both rough and tender, with the anticipation, dominance and submission, all making it uniquely erotically exciting.

On a physical level, the sting of a well-placed spank releases endorphins, the “feel-good chemicals”, which can enhance arousal and enhance your orgasms. A rigorous spanking session can leave you with the same feelings of peace and well-being as a hard workout or a runner’s high. The key to enjoying spanking lies in embracing its dual nature of pleasure and pain, making every smack a delicious delight.

The Importance of Communication and Consent

Before diving into spanking, it is crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about boundaries and preferences. You cannot simply bend them over your knee unannounced and start going ham on their behind.

First, discuss what turns you both on and establish clear limits for your spanking session. This means agreeing on how hard you are going to spank them and whether you will be just using your hand or any spanking implements.

Remember, a good spanking is only fun when everyone’s having a blast so mutual consent and comfort are the foundations of any pleasurable spanking session.

Spanking Techniques 101

Now, let's get down to the nitty-gritty of spanking techniques. There are various ways to deliver that perfect smack, each offering a unique sensation:

Hand Spanking

A bare-hand spanking is perhaps the most intimate form, allowing for close physical contact and a personal touch. Begin with light taps and gradually increase the intensity as your partner gets into it. There are few things more sexy than leaving your handprint on a willing backside but you should always start slowly.


Paddles are flat implements that provide a broader impact area, delivering a deeper thud. They come in various materials, from wood to leather, each offering a different feel. Paddles are heavier than other spankers and can feel nice and solid both in the hand and on the buttocks. 


Floggers can offer a more varied sensation depending on their design. They incorporate multiple tails that can create a breathtaking mixture of sting and thud. There are leather floggers, cotton floggers and many other materials so collect a range and see what your partner enjoys.


Riding crops provide a uniquely sharp impact that can be incredibly intense. They can leave a stinging mark on a supple backside and draw a gasp of pain and pleasure every time.

You can also combine spanking with other forms of sensory play such as blindfolds or temperature play, to enhance the overall sensation. This helps to explore the psychological aspects of spanking and can help deepen the connection and pleasure for both you and your partner.

Preparing for a Spanking Session

Setting the right mood is key to a successful spanking session. This will depend on your personal preferences but some people like to warm up with gentle caresses or a sensual massage. This can help build anticipation and prepare the skin for spanking. 

If you are into more serious BDSM or bondage, you may begin by tying your partner up, tickling them or whatever kind of kinky play they are into. This is also the best time to assume your BDSM roles. If you are a dominant, then you may start getting rough at this point to get yourself ready for delivering erotic punishment while explaining to your sub why they deserve a spanking.

Once they are nice and warmed up, you can lay out all your implements so your sub can see what awaits them. If they have a favourite spanker, you can tease them with it first and make them work for it. The anticipation can heighten the final release so don’t rush it!

How to Spank Safely

Safety should always be your top priority during a spanking session. Ensure your partner is in a comfortable position that supports their body, whether they’re lying down or bent over. When delivering a spank, aim for the fleshy parts of the buttocks and upper thighs, avoiding the lower back and tailbone. Start with light taps and gradually increase the intensity based on your partner’s responses. 

Setting up a safe word or signal is also essential for ensuring that play can be paused immediately if anyone feels uncomfortable or needs to stop. Safe words and signals can not just be “stop” or “no more” because this could be part of the roleplay. Instead, choose a safe word or signal that would never naturally come out. It can be anything from “Banana Split!” to “Maggie Thatcher!” Just make sure you both know what it means and that you adhere to the rules.

Aftercare is equally important - gently massage the spanked areas, apply soothing lotion if necessary and cuddle your partner so they feel cared for and appreciated. They may be in some discomfort for days after a particularly vigorous spanking session so make sure you look after them until they are back on their feet (if they can sit down at all, that is!)

Final Thoughts

So, there you have it - spanking isn’t just a slap-happy adventure; it’s an art form! From the first playful pat to the final firm flick, every spank can be a delightful journey of discovery. Ready to add a rosy glow to those cheeks? Grab your favourite paddle, set the scene and get ready to spank up some sizzling sensations. Happy spanking!


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